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Some nights I wish I could go back in life. Not to change shit, just to feel a couple things twice. 
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I have to say that although it broke my heart, I was, and still am, glad I was there. 
for people with bpd, emotional permanence extends beyond relationships too. emotions can be extremely overwhelming to me yet as soon as they’re gone, that’s it, i have minimal recollection of feeling them. this plays a huge role in how long it takes one to get help because as soon as they’re physically capable of contacting a therapist, they don’t have to anymore because they feel fine and therefore they’ve always been fine and everything they felt prior is Fake
this also really contributes to my feelings of “oh no am i Faking It? i am an Awful Person!!!” and then i feel guilty for days because i think i was actually mentally healthy the whole time and have just been a shitty person
honestly it’s so validating and amazing that so many people can relate to this makes me feel a lot less lonely in my illness i love the Internet
(via 247am)